[Standing in the lobby of a restaurant, waiting for a table]
Me [finding some change in the pocket of my rain coat] : Here, would you like a penny?
Mom [coyly]: Is that for my thoughts?
Me [smirking]: No. Because I know you don't have any.
Mom: Why, you.....[grabs penny out of my hand and throws it with deadly accuracy into my cleavage]
Me: You are such a spaz. BUT! I have another penny! [triumphantly hold another coin up]
Mom [grabbing the collar of her coat and holding it closed while emitting an ear-piercing shriek]: AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
[Diners turn and look at us both just as I throw the penny at my mother, which hits her harmlessly in the arm and falls to the floor with a faint jingle in the sudden silence of the restaurant.]
Mom [as soon as the diners return to their meals and conversation, in a low voice]: SUCKAH!!
So that's how the kids are doing it these days - "Mom, I need to tell you something, but I'm nervous." That's not the kind of conversation you really hope to have on a Wednesday morning before school. "O...
1 day ago