Oh. My. Gossssshhhhhhh.

I woke up early this morning while it was still very dark and came downstairs, yawning, to turn up the thermostat and put the kettle on. I turned on the television so that I could listen to the morning news while checking my email and noted that a whole bunch of schools in the area were on a two-hour delay.

"?" I said to myself. I peeked out the front door's window as I turned off the porch light, noting that there was no new snow; grinning at the snow fort the neighbor boys across the street have built out of the heaps of snow the plows have pushed up against the curbs. Those two boys, brothers, look to be about fifteen and thirteen and are as good as a comedy show to watch when they're outdoors doing their boy things, especially if they have the idea that Meelyn and Aisling might be watching. They are nice kids and when we sent them cupcakes as a Halloween gift, the older boy brought back the platter I sent and gravely said, "Thank you for the cupcakes. They were really good."

Anyhoo, no snow. No sleet. No ice. I went around the downstairs, closing cabinet doors and shutting off the water faucets we'd left trickling last night, since both the downstairs bathroom sink and the kitchen sink are on outside walls and poured boiling water over the teabag in my big Starbucks mug.

Suddenly, I noticed I was kinda chilly, even though the furnace had obediently kicked on down in the basement. How cold is it outside? I wondered, and went to the computer to check the weather.

Now I know why there are so many schools on a two-hour delay. It's because the temperature currently stands at zeeeeerrrrooooooooo. Z - E - R - O. A big fat goose egg. And that little breeze that's stirring the tree tops? That's driving the temps down to MINUS FIFTEEN DEGREES.

I know there are some weirdos out there who love the winter weather and what's wrong with them, is what I'd like to know? Wimzie and Hershey sure don't think it's fun. My husband just let them out for their morning promenade and I've never known them to do their business quite this quickly: they were out there for approximately one minute and then came bolting back to the doorwith frantic alacrity. They didn't even pause to bark obnoxiously at the well-bundled-up lawyer who was trudging past on his way to court (if I were a lawyer, I would be driving my car those three freezing blocks.)

My husband said that Hershey, who didn't want to keep his feet planted on the snow long enough to pee, actually whined when he finally had to make himself stand still in order to go. Poor baby. I wonder if the girls could knit him some little boots on the smallest Knifty Knitter? Surely if you can make golf club covers, you could make a set of doggie boots.

I think I'll bookmark this post for myself so that I can check back on it in, say, July, when I'm complaining about how frikkin' HOT I am.

Ohhhh, I want to make a paper chain to count down how many days it is until the swim club opens....