Lip gloss for dogs

I've been thinking about making some lip balm to sell, some lip balm from my very own formula that it took me eighteen months to perfect. And I don't mean to brag -- okay, I do. I mean to, very much. You caught me -- but it is some awesome fabulous lip balm that actually moisturizes your lips and gives you a little bit of gloss.

So I was looking at some of my favorite online sites that sell flavor oils for lip balm and luxuriating in the many delicious choices: Ginger peach! Green apple! Spiced tea! Red currant! Buttercream! Honey! Cranberry! How will I ever choose? I'd like to use them all.

Anyway, while I was browsing around on the internet, Hershey and Wimzie were lying at my feet, snoring and farting and making my eyes water and that got me to thinking: What kind of lip balm flavors would dogs like?

Here are some of my ideas:

1. Baby Rabbit Guts -- Warm and smooth, without all the annoying squeakiness

2. My Own Vomit -- Twice as nice the second time around!

3. Another Dog's Butt -- Why wait for a sniff when you can have it with you all the time?

4. Mom's Lunch -- Named for Kayte's Vash, who stole the pizza right off her plate one day when we were talking in her foyer. Great flavor without the go-to-your-basket banishment.