Okay. That's IT.

Indianapolis
Tonight: partly cloudy then becoming mostly cloudy. Chance of flurries after midnight. Lows around 8. Northwest winds 10 to 15 mph. Wind chill readings 6 below to 2 above zero.

Monday: mostly cloudy with a 20 percent chance of snow showers. Highs around 20. Northwest winds 10 to 15 mph. Wind chill readings 6 below to 7 above zero. Monday Night: mostly cloudy with a 20 percent chance of snow showers. Lows around 12. Northwest winds 10 to 15 mph. Wind chill readings 1 below to 4 above zero.

Above please not the Indianapolis weather forecast for tonight and all day Monday. Are you kidding, Mother Nature? Six below zero? This is the backlash of those sixty degree temperatures back at the end of last July, right? The temps that kept me from going to the pool for an entire week?

I'd like to point out that this? This is WARM compared to some areas of the country, where their registered temperatures sans wind chill are something like twenty-three degrees BELOW ZERO. That's just cruel. You are one mean lady and in need of an intervention.

The fact that I have been half-frozen all day long has convinced me that I am going to go to K-Mart tomorrow -- the only gig in town that still offers a layaway program -- and I am going to find the biggest coffeemaker K-Mart sells. Preferably programmable, so that I can load it up at night with a filter and some water and some coffee and have it ready to offer me a fresh, steaming mug at 7:30 each morning. I am going to put that coffee maker in layaway and I am going to drink as much coffee as it takes to keep me warm and comfy inside, since outside, I won't be thawed until March.