Completely traumatized

See that broken bottle of sherry? Guess where all the wine-fortified-with-brandy that used to be inside it now is?

In me, circulating happily through my veins? No.

Nestling cozily inside a Julia chicken with a little stock and a whole bunch of butter? No.

Adding a little smidge of delicious to a glaze for a pound cake? Nuh-uh.

How about SOAKING INTO THE CARPET ON MY KITCHEN FLOOR? Yep. Yessirree, that's where it is.

The funny thing is, when that bottle of sherry was still in its grocery bag and went into a death-spiral off the kitchen counter, MY FOOT cushioned it from having sudden impact with the floor. I mean, thank heaven for my (bruised) instep, because if this is what happens to a sherry bottle when it glances off a be-shod foot before hitting the carpeted floor, there's no telling what would have happened if my foot hadn't been there. An explosion of glass and vino that would have drenched the kitchen all the way up to the ten foot ceiling, maybe? Good grief.

Well, it's been the very divil of a mess to clean up, to be sure. We did some major soaking with a big towel and then did some further soaking with damp towels and next I'm going to apply some Oxy-Clean and if that doesn't work, I'm going to re-soak the spot with my salty tears and apply prayer, holy water and Bath & Body Works' Summer Lemon Body Splash, in that order.

Because, you see, Aisling's Confirmation open house is this coming Sunday. Not Mother's Day, no. I mean the next Sunday. And I don't want to have a houseful of company coming in and sniffing delicately and thinking that we must spend our time -- me, my husband, the kids and the dogs -- senseless with drink and watching professional wrestling. Although I suppose sherry isn't the adult beverage of choice of the greater majority of WWF fans, I'm thinking. But I could be wrong! I'm a snob! Maybe those fans prefer a nice, dry Pouilly-Fuissé and I'm just as wet as my kitchen floor!

Okay, feel free to stop me and lure me back to my original point with some goldfish crackers or something....

And here is my point: While I don't want the house smelling like a brewery, distillery or a winery, I'm also slightly aware -- okay, make that VERY aware -- that the main aroma of our house is that of dog, which is neither a cozy or a charming smell. So maybe the sherry in the carpet might be an upgrade?

Must think on this while the girls clean up the mess....