A typical conversation between my mother and me

[Standing in the lobby of a restaurant, waiting for a table]


Me [finding some change in the pocket of my rain coat] : Here, would you like a penny?

Mom [coyly]: Is that for my thoughts?

Me [smirking]: No. Because I know you don't have any.

Mom: Why, you.....[grabs penny out of my hand and throws it with deadly accuracy into my cleavage]

Me: You are such a spaz. BUT! I have another penny! [triumphantly hold another coin up]

Mom [grabbing the collar of her coat and holding it closed while emitting an ear-piercing shriek]: AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

[Diners turn and look at us both just as I throw the penny at my mother, which hits her harmlessly in the arm and falls to the floor with a faint jingle in the sudden silence of the restaurant.]

Mom [as soon as the diners return to their meals and conversation, in a low voice]: SUCKAH!!