Things that make you go "eeeewwwww...."

So today for lunch I was scavenging around in the fridge looking for something to eat and I came across half a baked potato, left over from dinner the other night when the first half was enough and the second half too much.

"Tasty!" I thought, and pulled it off the shelf and popped it in the microwave.

While I was waiting for it to nuke, I got a package of shredded cheese out of that same fridge, and then happily remembered one of those little packets of Oscar Mayer bacon bits that was in the cupboard. A cheese and bacon potato (accompanied by a number of sliced jalapeno peppers, of course) sounded like a perfect lunch.

When the microwave timer dinged, I took out the potato and threw some shredded cheese and the bacon bits on it, added my hot peppers and a little salt and popped the top on a Diet Coke. It was really, really good.

Until I finished.

Getting up from the table, I picked up the packet of bacon bits, preparatory to putting them back in the cabinet. In doing so, my eye happened to fall on a sentence in red letters printed on the little zip-seal bag: BEST IF EATEN WITHIN FOURTEEN DAYS AFTER OPENING.

Oh dear, I thought. I know those things have been in there for at least three months. Maybe longer. I can't even remember when I bought them.

Which is when my eyes fell on the sentence directly below that one:

REFRIGERATE AFTER OPENING.

All of a sudden, my baked potato didn't seem so tasty. I've been waiting all afternoon with a sense of impending doom for the throwing up to start, but so far so good. Unless they make their way through my digestive tract and instead of throwy-uppy, I....

Oh, it just doesn't bear thinking about. Is it too late to get my stomach pumped?