Sunday, June 12, 2011

RANDOM: In which I meet the Random Topic Generator in an attempt to get past my writer's block

I've been suffering -- as have you, I'm sure -- from a terrible case of writer's block lately. It's not that I don't have ideas. It's just that every time I think about sitting down at my desk to write about them, they either seem too tedious to blather on about, or not funny enough, or not of general interest or just *yawn*.

My fellow blogger Amy came to my rescue by alerting me to the presence of a Random Blog Topic Generator, which turned out to be a great deal of fun. First, you pick a category from a range of suggestions, such as Current Events, Music, Politics, Health, Personal, Business and Recreation and then click the one that strikes your fancy. Because I'm just this kind of fussy little fart, I told myself that I could have three clicks: If I didn't like the first two random topics generated, I could move on to the next, but that I had to take the third one or the house would fall down. Yes, even at my age, I still play those little OCD games with myself, which is worrisome but it's too late to stop now and I can't afford therapy on our health insurance.

So my first two clicks were too hard. The first was "Which Do You Prefer: Classical or Baroque Music?" The lovely thing about this is that I DO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE between the two because I took piano lessons for twelve years. However, writing about it just left me cold. Although, for the record, I prefer baroque. Just so's you'll know. The second click generated this topic: "NATO countries." I had to get up from my desk, find an empty corner, and sit there, rocking and humming for a while. I managed to recover enough to crawl back to my desk by digging my elbows and my face into the carpet, knowing that I had to take whatever topic was generated next because THAT WAS THE RULE.

All a-tremble, I clicked. And the Random Blog Topic Generator fed me this one: "Getting a root canal."

So here we go!

Getting a root canal sounds like a terrible, terrible thing. I do know that it isn't quite the process it was, say, twenty years ago, and whenever I hear that someone I know has to get a root canal, I always jump in and say soothingly, "I hear it's not quite the process it was twenty years ago!" and then I offer to bring them some soup.

I know that my friend Beth has had to have a root canal, and my cousin Susie has had a root canal, and neither one of them threw a party to celebrate the good news when the dentist told them that he had to canal their roots or whatever it is that happens in a root canal, so I'm thinking that twenty years down the line or not, getting a root canal still isn't one of those memories you treasure in your heart and pull out to mull over during times of doubt and sorrow. Unless, of course, you were lucky enough to be pumped full of nitrous oxide like Susie was during her recent root canal; she solemnly assured me that nitrous oxide takes away all fear and inhibition, rendering the patient likely to say, "Doc, you don't have to just do this root canal - you can also take my sacred virtue if you'll just keep the good stuff coming."

Susie said her oral surgeon didn't take her up on the offer. She seemed disappointed, although I haven't yet been able to determine if that's because the laughing gas was such a treat, or if the surgeon was dishy.

At any rate, I still don't know what happens during a root canal or even why they're performed and I hope to retain that innocence for the rest of my life. So far, I've had one cavity and two abscessed wisdom teeth, plus I wore braces for four years, so I feel that I've had plenty, thank you.

Wow. this random blog topic generation-thingy is just wonderful. Thanks, Amy! IT HAS SET ME FREE.


Amy said...

Oh honey, if you wanted info on getting a root canal, you should have asked me. Sadly, I'm very familiar with the procedure. The only good things about them are a.) nitrous oxide, b.) milkshakes afterwards, c.) sympathy from people who've never had them but who think they must be perfectly awful. (They are.)

Welcome back.

Jennifer Wright(Davidson) said...

Sadly, I too, am a root canal expert. I've had 3!!!

Jennifer Wright(Davidson) said...

Sadly, I, too, am a root canal expert. I've had 3!!!!