RECIPE: Outback Steakhouse Onion Blossom Sauce

For those of us who really like spicy food, the sauce that comes with the Awesome Blossom at the Outback (or at Chili's or Lone Star or wherever - the onion blossom has several permutations) is better than the actual blossomed onion. The saddest day I ever experienced at a restaurant was the day when my husband decided that he liked the sauce better than the ketchup he'd been using to dip his blossom petals into. This sauce doesn't just have to be reserved for battered and deep-fried onions, however: we've found that it is good on a number of different things, including the jalapeno cheeseburgers we ate for dinner last Monday, and even the "fried" potatoes I cook in my great-grandmother's cast-iron skillet.

I've had this recipe written on a sticky-note for about five months, so I'd say it's high time to get it recorded here where I won't lose it. This recipe makes a good portion of sauce - the serving size is two tablespoons, which is plenty - so I hope you can forgive the eensy-weensy measurements. It's worth it.

Blossom Sauce

Directions: Combine all ingredients together in a small mixing bowl; cover and refrigerate for about two hours before serving to allow the flavors to blend. Store leftovers in fridge, if there are any.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons horseradish (I like to use horseradish sauce because it's smoother and more blendable)
2 teaspoons ketchup (adjust amount according to taste; I always use a teaspoon or two more)
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon dried oregano, crushed between fingers
dash black pepper
dash cayenne pepper

RECIPE: Best Darned Tartar Sauce Ever

I suppose I could have taken a picture of the tartar sauce I made to go with our baked tilapia last night, but when I looked at it there in the bowl, I had a sudden intuitive moment that told me that tartar sauce tastes better than it looks: it's not one of those photogenic foods like a crown rib roast or even a simple bowl of glazed carrots. No, tartar sauce just looks pretty bland and dull and would continue looking like that even if I posed it in a bowl made of diamonds with rare orchids around the rim, so you'll just have to take my word for it that it is ANYTHING but bland and dull. It's so good, my husband swore that he could have eaten it out of the bowl with a spoon. Now that's a sauce to be proud of!

So here it is, the superlative, ultimate, yay-for-Lent-and-fish-on-Fridays tartar sauce.

Best Darned Tartar Sauce Ever

Ingredients:
1 cup mayonnaise (use light only if you must, and if you use non-fat mayo, I have it on good authority that the piece of fish you're having for dinner? It will COME BACK TO LIFE and bite your head off, so...)
2 tablespoons minced sweet onion, three if you're fond of onion
1 tablespoon sweet pickle relish, slightly drained
1/4 teaspoon lemon juice

Directions:
Mix all ingredients in a small mixing bowl. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and allow the tartar sauce's flavors to blend in the fridge for at least an hour before serving, two hours would be prime. Makes six servings. Keep tightly covered in fridge for up to three days.