Spring cleaning

I'm sitting here, panting and sweating, enjoying a fifteen-minute break from spring cleaning duties. Holy Week seemed like a good time to undertake the twice-yearly horrors of finding out what is really lurking underneath the couch and in the back of the under-sink cabinet in the kitchen. (I'll spare you the details.)

First of all, we've been in the process of shoring up our souls during this long season of Lent through the self-disciplinary measures of fasting, prayer and almsgiving. Secondly, if deep housecleaning isn't a penitential act of self-discipline, I don't know what is. Third, Easter Sunday will hopefully dawn sunny, warm and bright and we won't have to look through winter-grimed windows as we eat our candy and say, "Eeeuuuwwww...."

Fourth of all, I hate it when my hair gets damp with perspiration and little strands stick to my forehead. I wish Pat were here because, although you'd never know it from his snarky attitude and elevated left eyebrow, but he is a wicked good house cleaner and not only works faster than I do, but also with a great deal more determination, being less likely to sneak off upstairs or outdoors to "get some furniture polish" or "shake out a rug" leaving everyone else to toil on.

Here's our living room/foyer cleaning list:

1) Wash ornaments, glass shelves and inside/outside glass of curio cabinet

2) Dust baseboards and window frames with lambswool duster; use sweeper's wand attachment to go around the floor line of the baseboards

3) Wash all inside window glass (outside is inclement today, thank heaven, I mean, darn it) and polish all glass in framed artwork and photographs

4) Run all throw rugs, curtains, afghans and sofa pillows through washer/dryer

5) Dust walls allllllll ten feet up with Swiffer dust mop (God bless the person who invented all that Swiffer stuff)

6) Move all furniture and vaccuum beneath; any furniture too big to move, attach long wand to sweeper hose and suck all dust and cobwebs from behind

7) Polish all wooden furniture; use brushie sweeper attachment to dust lamp shades

8) Feel sad over the fact that budget won't allow rental of upholstery cleaning machine, ditto carpet cleaning ditto

9) Clean the stairs, banister and balusters

10) Sternly quash feelings of bitter envy for people who have cleaners to come in and do all this crap for them while they go out for lunch -- thinking such thoughts is not Lent-like behavior

We've been at it for nearly three hours, and laws-a-mercy, I am ready to take to the bed. But everything looks very, very lovely. You'd have to see it. All we need to do is move the furniture back, sweep the rest of the floors, polish the wooden furniture and put the pillows back on the sofa and we're done.