Saturday, September 19, 2009

Grocery hellllllllp

I've mentioned before that there are three grocery store that lie equidistant from my house:

1. A Kroger with a pharmacy that has the best prices and a drive-thru window, but also has a clientele that could scare the bejabers out of you. This is the place where a lady tried to force me to buy boiled ham two years ago.

2. A Marsh that is semi-posh and SMALL so that you don't have to walk four miles to pick up a gallon of milk.

3. Another Kroger that is very posh (coffee bar, sushi bar, schmancy soup-and-salad bar), but where I can't find the cannelloni beans.

Anyway, I was at the Scary Kroger yesterday and had a whole new experience. In that store, I saw not one, but two people -- two separate people, in different aisles, pushing different carts -- who both had crack teeth. Now, it isn't all that unusual to see someone with crack teeth (also known as Meth Mouth) in that store, but it is a banner day of the fearsome variety when you see two people with their teeth whittled down to greyish brown stumps. Yikes.

I was at Marsh this morning and saw an elderly lady at the checkout wearing Sperry Topsiders with a dainty gold filigree ankle bracelet. I looked at her speculatively and wondered, "Former tart who's devoted her retirement to surf and sail?"

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