A new kind of drinking game

In all this stifling weather we're experiencing, I'd like to propose a new kind of drinking game, different than the ones that SOME PEOPLE played as undergraduates, where they took a swig of some beverage every time Oprah says the word "feel" or "feelings" or every time a favorite sports team scores a touchdown or a three point shot or whatever. I have heard of those kinds of activities, but never participated in them myself because I was always way too busy praying or taking baskets of food to the poor.

Anyway, my proposal is that every time we hear someone say the words "heat," "humidity," or "hot," we all have to drink a bottle of water. That way, we'll all stay very hydrated and all the people my age won't dry up like mummies and have that crinkly, dessicated look that a piece of bologna gets if someone carelessly re-wraps the package and leaves a slice of the lunch meat exposed to air.

Plus, I am anxiously looking forward to colder weather, when we can all play a game where we all have to pull on our Snuggies and curl up on the couch with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate every time we hear the words/phrases "snow," "wind chill," "cold front," "sleet," "slush," "icy rain," "winter storm watch," "school cancellations," "salt trucks".....if you can think of any other words to add to this list, please send them to me as I am interested in perfecting this game and look deeply forward to playing it this coming winter.