I thought of a fun experiment to do yesterday morning involving my face, my bulging makeup bag and my cell phone camera.
I took a picture of my face before makeup, smiling brightly as I snapped my own picture. When I looked at the image on my phone, I couldn't prevent a full-body shudder from wracking my ample frame, or maybe it was a dry heave.
Anyhoo, I quickly applied my makeup, evening out my blotchy, age-spotted complexion (because I was one of those smart girls who tanned with baby oil and iodine and then with Hawaiian Tropics, which in those days was completely innocent of any sun protection factor; you could have fried tomatoes on my back), highlighted my eyes with plenty of shading since I wear glasses, and delicately tinted my lips and cheeks. Then it was time for Photo #2.
Side by side, Photo #1 and Photo #2 appear to be of two different people, the first one being pale with indeterminate eyebrows, with a drinky sort of look about her. The second was the one that I would actually be willing to acknowledge was a picture of myself, although it stil wasn't great, truth be told. I'd like to blame it on my cheapo GoPhone, but I'm afraid it's just my face.
At any rate, the conclusion I drew from my experiment is that the general public, going about their business with no knowledge of my un-made-up face assaulting them as they do their grocery shopping, go to the bank, et cetera, is very lucky that my mother taught me to never so much as step out on the front porch to pick up the morning paper without mascara. Because, yeeeeesh. fcr