Epiphany - The Three Traveling Kings on the Third Day

"I thought we were supposed to turn left at the bazaar."

"No, it was right! I know we were supposed to turn right!"

"Well, Wise Man, if we were supposed to turn right at the bazaar, how'd we wind up here, at the wrong manger?"

"This is very awkward. What if someone sees us carrying these gifts and thinks they're for that porcelain baby?"

"Just keep your head down and keep on walking. Don't make eye contact."

"Hey, maybe we could ask that shepherd there if he knows where the poly resin manger is."

"Okay, maybe you've missed this, but we are the MAGI. We don't have to ask for directions from anyone, especially some simpering porcelain shepherd. KEEP WALKING."

Epiphany - The Three Traveling Kings on the Second Day

Today the Three Adorable Magi found themselves in the kitchen, toiling through the ingredients for the roast turkey preparations which are currently underway in the oven. They seem to be in good spirits, in spite of the precariousness of balancing on orange, celery and carrots, but it must have been more taxing than it seemed because they've already taken shelter from today's travels by coming to rest on top of my CD player, which has an accommodating flat top to it.

Epiphany - The Three Traveling Kings

It's that time of year again, even though it really isn't. You see, all the holy days fell awkwardly on the weekend this year, which meant that Epiphany was changed from January 6 to....January 1? I don't really get it, because how are we supposed to be experiencing the twelve days of Christmas if there are only seven of them? I am not one to be easily separated from any bit of celebrating I can wring out of the Christmas season, especially if there's a chance that more presents might come my way, so I decided that the three Magi would go ahead and journey on to the kitchen windowsill, where they shall find the Jesus in his little manger. On January 6.

Last year, the three Kings from my porcelain nativity journeyed all over the house between Christmas and Epiphany, so I thought it would only be fair for these cute little guys to do their own stint of wandering and posing for this year's blog edition. Here they are pictured on one of my cookbook shelves, cheerfully strolling along past Julia Child and Giada de Lorentiis and Peter Reinhart, so they'll be well fed on their travels.

Epiphany - The Journey of the Wise Men (Day 10)

The road was long, with many a winding turn, but the three kings finally arrived in the manger today after making their way through the clementines and the laundry detergents and across the piano keys and many other treacherous byways.

They plan to stay and visit until February 2, at which time they're going to leave by a different path because, you know....Herod. And Mary and Joseph are going to grab the donkey and wrap up the baby and head out for Egypt, because, you know....Herod. Herod always figures largely in an unhappy end to the story of a miraculous, world-changing, life-changing birth.

Fortunately for all of these porcelain folks, however, they'll be packed away safe and sound in their box under my bed to await a renewed journey next Christmas.

Epiphany - The Journey of the Wise Men (Day 9)

The hymn on the music stand? Why, "We Three Kings of Orient Are," of course. These three don't appeared to have smoked a rubber cigar, but maybe that part's still to come.

At any rate, their journeys are almost finished: They're due to arrive at the stable tomorrow, where they will be warmly greeted by St. Joseph, the Blessed Virgin and also by a really cute but oddly Caucasian little Jesus.

It has been really fun photographing their odyssey through our house this year and the three kings have all been very good sports, especially about allowing me to take an action shot of them as they navigated their way through a bowl of clementines. After tomorrow's photo at the manger, we won't see them anymore on InsomniMom because, you know.....Herod.

Epiphany - The Journey of the Wise Men (Day 8)

To matter what the time or the season, the best place to find Hershey is on the couch. So he was right there, ready to offer some warmth and hospitality to three weary travelers, who must be really tired of lugging those precious gifts around, not to mention, wouldn't those hats give you a headache after a while? Especially the purple one.

The good news for them is that Hershey is an extremely snuggly dog, which is why we so often refer to him as "Mr. Cuddlesby." This makes my husband throw up, kind of like when he sees establishments that call themselves "Gift Shoppes." I'm thinking it wouldn't be a good idea to direct the three kings by putting up a sign on cardstock that reads "Ye Olde Mangere" or the next day's travels might be....unpleasant.

Epiphany - The Journey of the Wise Men (Day 7)

Tonight the Wise Men were traversing the highways and byways of a euchre game being played at our dining room table: I had plenty of time to take pictures because I wasn't allowed to participate. My husband evidently dropped a dime on me about the New Year's Eve euchre tournament booby prize I won.

Now I know how Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer felt. I mean, I don't have red nose and I am not personally acquainted with Santa Claus, but I do know the pain -- the deep-seated, personal pain -- of not being let to join in any reindeer games. And I'm telling you -- it hurts, man. It really, really hurts.

Epiphany - The Journey of the Wise Men (Day 6)

Since we were out late last night ringing the welkins -- whatever that means -- we had our family New Year's celebration today after we all woke up enough to squint at the television screen. Our choice of entertainment? Why, a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon, of course, accompanied by (and I know you'll find this hard to believe) more food.

While we were watching TV, the three kings trudged by, looking as if they were at an old-fashioned drive-in movie. Out of respect for their mission, none of us yelled "DOWN IN FRONT!" and honked our horns.

Epiphany - The Journey of the Wise Men (Day 5)

Their travels are long and the path is rugged, but the three intrepid kings just keep on going. Today they're on the kitchen table, off of which I did remember to brush the crumbs before I did the point-and-shoot thing.

While they're out there, they might consider grabbing a turkey sandwich (or "turkwich," as Meelyn called them when she was a wee one) from the beautiful Killian's Irish Turkey I roasted a couple of days ago. Some homemade bread, a little Hellmann's, a few carefully selected leaves of butter lettuce and some salt and pepper...mmmm. Now that's a sandwich that can put some heart in you for the road ahead.

Epiphany - The Journey of the Wise Men (Day 4)

Today the three kings are making their weary trek across the table that stands beside the easy chair upstairs in my bedroom. I think there's a distinct possibility that they might be up to their porcelain ankles in dust: I was due to dust my bedroom last Thursday, which was Christmas Day, sooo.......

I hope they'll stop to take a look at the gorgeous little inlaid wood trinket box I got in Sorrento many years ago when I went to Italy with my grandmother. It's not only beautiful to look at, but also a priceless reminder of the one I was with and how she patiently looked at, like, a million little boxes before I finally picked out the one I wanted. Then we went on to Naples and took the hydrofoil ferry out to Capri and after spending the day there the weather turned rainy and the Mediterranean grew rather choppy and we both clutched each other in wordless terror, picturing a romantic yet soggy death in the Bay of Naples. Now there's a journey for you.

Epiphany - The Journey of the Wise Men (Day 3)

Today finds the three Kings (or the three Wise Guys as Kayte called them, which lends them a rakish and slightly dangerous persona) feeling a little weary and travel-stained, which is perhaps why they're wandering atop the clothes dryer out in the laundry room, to wash their robes, or maybe spritz their puffy crown-like headgear with some Downy Wrinkle Remover. I can highly recommend its efficacy, because you know all those clothes that lie there quietly crumpling when you fail to hear the buzzer going off? Well, that Downy stuff can take care of that mess in no time at all.

Epiphany - The Journey of the Wise Men (Day 2)

Today the wise men are in the kitchen, trekking through a bowl of clementines, which is an excellent choice not only because clementines are a great source of immune system-boosting vitamin C, but also because those things were on sale at Wal-Mart for four dollars a bag. Boooyah!!!

In the background there you can see just a few of my favorite cookbooks -- Le Cordon Bleu at Home, Baking with Dorie, The Bread Baker's Apprentice and Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day, all titles which have figured largely here on this blog over the years. The slender lime green book is Cooking with Julia and that little primer is the one I'm using to write a syllabus for a foods course for Meelyn's junior year of high school. These three kings have very discerning taste. And well developed palates.

Epiphany - The Journey of the Wise Men

In our house, the three kings of the Orient begin traveling to the crèche in Bethlehem on the top of the media cabinet on or around the first Sunday after Christmas. That makes today the day when this trio yelled "ROAD TRIP!" and laid in a supply of snacks and warmed up the camels and started off on their epic adventure around our house until their arrival with their fabulous gifts on January 6.

Here they are in the downstairs bathroom, hoping to avoid the perils of curling irons and hair spray.