RECIPE: Crustless Quiche Muffins

This recipe for crustless quiche muffins is one I've been working on for several months, ever since the girls and I fell in love with the ones from Paradise Cafe and Bakery. What we didn't fall in love with was the enormous calorie and fat count, because the quiche muffins from Paradise, while completely cheesy and delicious, are practically the nutritional equivalent of a 6-ounce prime rib. I thought it would be nice to have a quiche muffin for breakfast that was full of protein, low in calories and fat and reasonably portable for busy mornings; also one that didn't require me to skip lunch because I'd already consumed a jillion calories.

These muffins are a good size and they're nice and dense. Eat one with a banana or an orange or even a container of yogurt and you've got a nice, sustaining breakfast that will stick with you. Or, heck, these things are so light in terms of calories and fat, you could have one for a quick snack in the afternoon when you need a jolt of energy-revving protein to carry you through the remainder of the work day and on into that dinner prep-homework-bath-and-bed-time routine.

In spite of the long ingredient list, these muffins mix up in a big hurry: It's mostly just a matter of opening packages and dumping ingredients into a mixing bowl.

CRUSTLESS QUICHE MUFFINS

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups Egg Beaters refrigerated egg
2 whole eggs, beaten
1 cup skim milk
2 cups Bisquick Heart-Smart baking mix (or the regular kind, if you'd prefer)
1 7-oz package reduced-fat sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup reduced-fat grated parmesan cheese (or, again, the regular kind, your pref)
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
1 16-oz package frozen spinach
2 teaspoons salt, or to taste (you can always use less in the recipe and add more to each portion)
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes, optional

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Thaw spinach by emptying bag into a colander and running lukewarm water over it until soaked; allow to drain while you put everything else together. In a medium mixing bowl, combine all other ingredients and stir. Squeeze out the drained spinach in the colander, pressing it to remove as much water as possible (I always use the edge of a plastic measuring cup.) Add the spinach to the egg mixture, stirring to make sure all the spinach gets un-clumped.

Take two regular muffin pans and spray them thoroughly with non-stick spray. Then spray them again. And again. Why, you ask? Because I learned from painful experience that if you don't make those muffin cups as non-stick-able as possible, you will be prying your little crustless quiches out with a chisel, leaving half of them adhering firmly to your pan.

Fill the muffin cups all the way full - they will pouf up a bit into the traditional domed muffin shape - and you will get a yield of about 21 muffins. If you fill them slightly less full, your muffins will be appreciably smaller, but you can get a full two dozen out of your quiche mixture. Really, it's whatever you prefer.

Bake muffins for 35-40 minutes, until set and a toothpick inserted in a center muffin comes out clean. Allow muffins to cool completely before removing from pan. You may need to gently go around each one with a knife to loosen them. Store in the fridge (we put ours in gallon-sized plastic bags) and reheat by microwaving for about a minute per muffin. Delicious!

Nutritional Information:
Servings: 21 muffins as prepared with lower calorie/fat ingredients
Total Calories: 136.7; Total Fat: 5.5g (Saturated: 1.3g; Polyunsatured: 0.3g; Monounsaturated: 0.6); Cholesterol: 36.1mg; Sodium: 623.6mg; Potassium: 145.5mg; Total Carbohydrates: 13.9g (Dietary Fiber: 0.5g; Sugars: 1.6g); Protein: 8.7g
Weight Watchers Points Plus: 3 per muffin

RECIPE: Oatmeal in the Slow-Cooker (and variations)

Yesterday after my husband and I got home from church (the girls went to Mass on Saturday evening), we opened the back door and were greeted by the delicious and wonderful smell of slow-cooked oatmeal wafting through the house. Jazzed up with apples and peaches and spiced with cinnamon and cloves, it was a fragrance that could make you want to get a warm bowl and curl up on the sofa all wrapped in your Snuggie, if it weren't ninety-four frikking degrees outside.

Oatmeal, I believe, is one of the most perfect foods ever. With what other food can you whip up a practically instant batch of those no-bake oatmeal-and-cocoa cookies? What other food allowed your great-grandma to stretch a humble pound and a half of ground beef into two during the Depression? What other food is so retro and heart-healthy, but can still be referred to as porridge? My dears, I give you oatmeal.

I posted the recipe for Pumpkin Brunch Oatmeal here at InsomniMom almost one year ago today, but today I'm going to post the recipe for just the plain, straight-up slow-cooked version with a couple of variations so that you can find your family's preference by playing around with it.

I also need to mention that this recipe is not my invention. This recipe originally belonged to my internet friend Colleen and I was so pleased with the results that I decided to see what I could do to tweak it here and there. For instance, Colleen's original recipe called for both white and brown sugars and all of us McKinneys are either trying to watch our weight or our blood sugar or both, so I substituted Splenda as a sweetner substitute for the white sugar. Little things like that make for a recipe that's either a once-in-a-while kind of thing because it's so naughty, or something that we all love and can have fairly frequently.

OATMEAL IN THE SLOW-COOKER

Ingredients:
6 scant cups of old-fashioned oats
4 cups of milk
3 cups of hot water
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup Splenda
2 eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

Directions:
Spray slow-cooker crock with non-stick spray. Put all ingredients in the crock and stir to combine. Set the slow-cooker's heat to Low and cook for three hours. Serve in bowls and allow the rest to cool; store in the refrigerator for up to four days and heat in the microwave by the bowl for a quick breakfast.

Variations:
6 scant cups of oatmeal
1 small jar of cinnamon applesauce
2 apples, cored and cut into small chunks
2 peaches, pitted and cut into small chunks
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup Splenda
2 eggs, beaten
1 can evaporated milk
1 can hot water
1 measuring cup of hot water
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon cloves
1/8 teaspoon ginger

And a few more ideas:

• Use approximately three cups of apple cider instead of the applesauce
• If it's winter time and fresh peaches are not to be found, use a large can of sliced peaches (I always use the no-sugar added type -- along with their juice
• Use four apples instead of two apples and two peaches
• Use four peaches instead of two apples and two peaches
• Use any kind of fruit juice (I use the organic kind in the health food section that has no added sugar) instead of the applesauce
• Add dates, raisins or currants
• Add walnuts, pecans, pine nuts or sunflower seeds
• Try a little shredded coconut (sweetened or unsweetend)
• Substitute maple syrup for the brown sugar or the Splenda
• Use a flavored coffee creamer instead of the three cups of milk
• Use eggnog instead of the milk

There should always be a certain ration of liquid-to-oatmeal in the crock. The original recipe will make a fairly dense oatmeal, which is the way we like it at our house; we'd rather add more milk ourselves because, naturally, all four of us prefer different consistencies in the finished product. I like mine very creamy, so I add a great deal of warm milk to my bowl, along with about three packets of Splenda. My husband recklessly throws milk and brown sugar into his bowl; Meelyn doesn't want anything with raisins in it, so I leave those out and set out a little dish of raisins for those who'd like to have some. Aisling is an oatmeal fanatic and eats it however she can get it.

The cooking time is the same no matter how you vary the recipe -- three hours is generally just fine. If you're using fresh fruit,just make sure to cut it into small pieces so that it will be soft when the oatmeal is served.

RECIPE: Homemade slow-cooker yogurt

#1 - Ingredients on the counter: To make your own yogurt, you'll need a large slow-cooker, half a gallon of milk (I used 2%), half a cup of plain yogurt and a beach towel. Maybe a microwave heating bag, if your slow-cooker loses heat quickly like mine does.

#2 Milk in the slow-cooker: When making homemade yogurt, the first task is to empty the half gallon of milk into your crock-pot, put the lid on, put in on the low setting, and let it "cook" for two and a half hours. That's it!

#3 - The next step couldn't be easier. Just unplug your slow-cooker and allow the milk to sit undisturbed for three hours. At the end of that three hour period, take the lid off the slow-cooker and scoop two cups of the warmish milk out into a mixing bowl. Add one-half cup of the plain yogurt (you need those live cultures in there!) and whisk it into the two cups of milk. Pour this mixture back into the slow-cooker.

#4 - All bundled up! Wrap your slow-cooker in a thick bath or beach towel and allow it to sit for the next eight hours undisturbed.

#5 - I stuck my hands under the bath towel to see if my slow-cooker was holding its heat, and it wasn't. This is a chemical reaction taking place, so if the heat falls too low, the reaction will stop and the milk will spoil. If you get it too hot, however, the temperature will kill the live cultures. The solution to this, I found, was to heat up my handy microwave heating bag (I imagine you could also judiciously apply an electric heating pad set on low) and put it on the glass lid. I heated up the microwave heating bag three times during this incubation process.

#6 - At the end of the eight hours, voilà! It's yogurt! If what you have in the slow-cooker is unthickened, something went wrong, but if you come out with an end product that is thickish and slightly lumpy, you had success. You can stir this up and eat it immediately, although it will be runny. We prefer our yogurt to have a more pudding-like consistency, so I elected to strain ours overnight.

#7 - To strain the yogurt, I lined my colander with doubled coffee filters and then balanced the colander carefully inside a large mixing bowl. This allows the whey to run off and how long you strain the yogurt depends on how thick you want it to be. For a consistency similar to store-bought yogurt, you can strain it for around two hours.

#8 - Since I wanted this yogurt to be very thick, I put it in the fridge so that it could strain overnight. In the morning, approximately five cups of whey had drained off and we were left with the most beautiful, smooth, pure white yogurt in the world. And the smell? Heavenly! Creamy, tart and luscious.

#9 - I know this looks like cottage cheese, so I wish I'd given it a stir before I took the picture. This does not have curds; this was just the initial lumpiness that resulted when I scooped the yogurt out of the colander into the bowl. But one stir was all it took and we had velvety smoothness.

I added Splenda to mine; the girls added half Splenda, half sugar. We put berries in some servings, vanilla in others. I found that I greatly like a combination of pure vanilla extract, Splenda and sliced bananas. Plain, this yogurt could easily substitute as sour cream; just add a pinch of sugar to the amount you'd like to add to your baked potato. I've read that the Greek people like their thick yogurt with honey drizzled over it. Whatever way you choose to eat it, I think you'll find it very delicious.

RECIPE: Amish Breakfast Casserole

To be totally fair to myself, this is one of the better food photographs I've taken, so it's kind of sad that Amish Breakfast Casserole, while the taste is somewhere beyond delicious, doesn't exactly lend itself to a nummy-looking picture. Take it from my husband, who is pictured here holding the plate he just finished warming up in the microwave: it is really, really good.

Amish Breakfast Casserole

Ingredients:

1 pound bacon

1 large onion, chopped

6 eggs, lightly beaten

4 cups frozen hash browns, thawed (I used southern style)

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

1 1/2 shredded Swiss cheese

1 1/2 cups small curd cottage cheese

4 dashes hot pepper sauce

Directions:

Cook the bacon and the onion in a skillet until the bacon is crispy. Drain well on paper towels; set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, add the beaten eggs, hash browns, three cheeses and pepper sauce and stir to combine. Add the bacon and onion; stir again. Pour mixture into a buttered 9x13 baking dish and bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes or until set and bubbly. Let it stand for ten minutes before cutting. Serves 4-6.

RECIPE: The best-ever pancakes, compliments of ALDI

I found this pancake recipe on the side of ALDI's Baker's Corner baking mix and it is truly the best recipe for pancakes I've ever used. I'm not saying that I'm an expert on pancakes or anything, except for eating them. Eating them, I could probably win a gold medal. Actually making them? Not so much. I mean, my adult life has consisted of adding water to a cup of pancake mix or whatever, it's not rocket science or anything.


But my family immediately liked this easy recipe. They were so enthusiastic, they wanted pancakes every day for breakfast for about a week, a task I was disinclined to undertake. But I do bust it out on the weekends, or on days like today when the girls are grumpy because every public and private school in all the surrounding counties is closed due to the arrival of an inordinate amount of snow last night. Pancakes sweeten their tempers and remind them how lucky they are to be receiving an education that includes no snow days is thorough and complete.

For your pancakes, visit your local ALDI, if you are fortunate enough to have one, and for an amazingly small amount of money:

Carlini canola oil
Baker's Corner baking mix
Friendly Farms evaporated milk
Spice Club pure vanilla extract
Goldhen large eggs
Aunt Maple's lite pancake syrup (we forgot to take Aunt Maple's picture)

Baker's Corner's Old Fashioned Pancakes

Ingredients:
2 cups Baker's Corner Baking Mix
1 large Goldhen egg
1 1/3 cups Friendly Farms evaporated milk (the conversion for evaporated milk is half milk/half water)
2 tablespoons sugar (this comes from ALDI too, but it is in my canister and not in the original packaging, so I don't know the name of the "brand")
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

Heat griddle or electric skillet to 400 degrees. If using a frying pan over top of range, set to medium-high temperature. Pour a small amount of canola oil over whatever cooking surface you're using, turning the skillet or griddle to lightly coat. Cooking surface is ready when a few drops of water dance and disappear when sprinkled on the surface.

Stir all ingredients together until smooth. Pour slightly less than 1/4 cup of batter onto the cooking surface. Cook until bubbles form on the surface (about one minute). Turn and cook until bottom color matches top (about one minute).

Serve with Aunt Maple syrup! Yummm....

RECIPE: Pumpkin Brunch Oatmeal

I got this recipe from my online friend, Colleen, and modified it somewhat to suit my family's tastes, and I have to say that this is the BEST OATMEAL I have ever eaten, and many's the porridge bowl I've scraped in my day.

The first thing that makes this oatmeal so good is that it is anything but instant: You can bake it (tightly covered with foil) in the oven for an hour, or you can simmer it for three hours on low heat in your slow-cooker. The results will be something like what your great-great-grandmother had when she put the oats in a covered pot and moved them to the back of her big cast-iron stove to slowly transform in to pudding-y goodness all night long.

The second thing that makes this oatmeal so fabulous is the PUMPKIN. Could anything be more autumny than SLOW-COOKED PUMPKIN OATMEAL? The confluence of those three words together almost makes me need to go lie down. Combine the fall of the year with the Crock-Pot and the spices and the delicious smell wafting through the house and a halo of corn shocks and chrysanthemums will suddenly encircle your head: this oatmeal is autumn magic. True story.

So! Without any further hyperbole, I give you the recipe for Pumpkin Brunch Oatmeal. Serve it with those little tiny link sausages and some hot, milky coffee. Mmmmm....

PUMPKIN BRUNCH OATMEAL

6 scant cups old-fashioned oats
1 large can pumpkin
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup Splenda®
2 eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
3 cups milk
1 cup hot water
1 teaspoon baking powder

Put all ingredients in a large mixing bowl and stir to combine thoroughly. Place into a buttered slow cooker or Dutch oven. If slow-cooking, set heat to Low and cook for three hours. If using Dutch oven, set oven to 375 degrees; bake oatmeal, covered, for one hour.

Prepare to swoon at the hearth-and-home aroma wending its way through the house.

When cooked, add more sugar/sweetener and milk as desired to individual bowls. Give it a drizzle of maple syrup and sprinkle on some pecans. Serve with little sausages, as mentioned. Particularly enjoyable when it is cold and rainy outside.

RECIPE: Zucchini bread

Ah, August! The time of year when all those people who planted their zucchini seeds in the ground and then carefully nurtutured them last May are now frantically scrambling their arms around from beneath the pile of zucchini they're buried under, searching for a gun to shoot themselves with.

"Why did I PLANT all these?" one friend moaned to me, clutching a huge Old Navy shopping bag bursting with the small summer squashes to her chest. "Was it some kind of sickness? Some mental disorder?"

"A love of zucchini muffins?" I suggested.

She eyed me coldly. "Well, obviously. But they're COMING INTO THE HOUSE."

"I wish I could help you out and take a few thousand off your hands, but I just bought some," I admitted.

"You BOUGHT zucchini? In AUGUST? In INDIANA? Are you STUPID?"

I thought that was very rude. I am not stupid, and if I'd known she was growing them, I would have been over at her house with a basket and an acquisitive gleam in my eye, getting some free zukies. Because that's me: ALWAYS THINKING OF OTHERS.

Anyway, here's a recipe I found online and tinkered with a little. It will produce two deliciously moist loaves of zucchini bread, whether your zucchini were purchased, grown in your own garden, or given to you by a frenzied friend with dirt under her fingernails.

ZUCCHINI BREAD

Ingredients:

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon cinnamon

3 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
1 1/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

2 cups unpeeled shredded zucchini
1 cup chopped walnuts (if desired)
1/2 cup raisins (if desired)

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 325^o F. In a medium-sized bowl, mix together the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon. In a large bowl, beat the eggs, sugars, oil and vanilla. Stir in the shredded zucchini, walnuts and raisins. Sift in the dry ingredients and mix until combined.

Pour batter into two oiled loaf pans. Bake for 55-60 minutes. Remove from oven; allow to cool for about 15 minutes. Remove from loaf pans -- you may need to run a knife gently around the edge of the pans so that the loaves will release. Turn out onto a baking rack and cool completely.

These loaves freeze very well if carefully wrapped and placed in freezer bags. Or just sit down and have a big ol' slice right now.

RECIPE: Myla's Sour Cream Coffee Cake

Myla, God rest her soul, was my dear friend Beth's mother, an indefatiguable gardener, a fierce card player, an unflappable midnight sandwich maker. She was the favorite of all my friends' moms, just for being so funny and so easy to talk to.

She was also an amazing cook with a huge repertoire of recipes of maximum deliciousity. A few weeks back, I wanted to make a sour cream coffee cake like Myla's, and I knew I had her recipe. It was written, however, on an old-fashioned 3x5 recipe card and stuck down out of order in my old-fashioned Longaberger recipe basket. Honestly, I just didn't feel like digging around for it, so I found a recipe for sour cream coffee cake on a website I trust. It sounded a lot like Myla's, until I got to the part where I had to put the batter in the tube pan. Then I knew something was very wrong, and later on when I served the cake, I was proved right. It wasn't even close to Myla's feather-light cake and I was gruesomely disappointed.

So today, I sat down with that recipe basket and dug through it until I found that 3x5 card, written out in Myla's own handwriting for me about twenty years ago -- I asked for it one night after Beth, Julie, Hoot and I stopped by late for a bite to eat and a game of Hearts. Myla served us coffee cake and grilled ham and cheese sandwiches and I was hooked.

The recipe is so old that the writing is almost obliterated, so I think I'd better copy it down while it's still legible. I'll think of Myla every time I make it.

MYLA'S SOUR CREAM COFFEE CAKE

1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups sifted flour (the sifting is very important)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup sour cream

"RIBBON" IN THE MIDDLE

1/4 cup brown sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon

Preheat the oven to 350^o

In a medium mixing bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, beating well until combined; add the vanilla. Carefully sift in the dry ingredients, stirring them with a nice, slow spoon until dry ingredients are moistened. Tenderly fold in the sour cream. BE GENTLE, goshdarnit!

In a small bowl, prepare the "ribbon" topping.

In a 10" tube pan that has been sprayed with non-stick spray, carefully spoon half the batter. (I love writing sentences in the passive voice.) Gently spread the "ribbon" over all the batter, and then spoon in the rest of the batter. SLOWLY, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!

Place tube pan in oven with the tender care you'd use to place a sleeping baby into a bassinette and bake for 55-60 minutes. When you remove it from the oven, allow the cake to cool completely before trying to remove it from the pan. You might want to use a flat spatula to gently go around the inner edges of the tube pan to help unstick the cake, especially if your tube pan is fluted; it seems that no matter how much non-stick spray you use, this cake will still try to break your heart by clinging to the pan. I know this from painful experience.

Turn the cake out onto a pretty cake plate and sift some powdered sugar over it -- such a pretty cake! This is especially enjoyable with some hot Earl Grey or some cold iced tea. I think the flavor is too delicate for coffee, myself.

RECIPE: Overnight Slow-Cooker Oatmeal

One of my favorite cookbooks in the whole world is the one by Beth Hensperger and Julie Kaufmann titled Not Your Mother's Slow Cooker Cookbook. It has a wealth of recipes that not only rise above my admittedly tacky and pedestrian Chicken, Broccoli and Rice Casserole, but also offer a variety that I'd never before associated with a slow-cooker. Like breakfast foods, for instance.

I was very intrigued by the hot cereals recipes in chapter two, which was delightfully titled "From the Porridge Pot." The very idea of "porridge" makes me go all Mamsie Pepper, but the problem is that I'd never eat it. Because, yuck. Didn't that little boy named Paul have to manfully choke down a bowlful of porridge every morning in order to please his old-fashioned grandmama in Anne of Avonlea? See, he didn't like it either.

But Beth and Julie had some recipes that honestly made me think that cooking some oatmeal for the family's breakfast would be a really smart thing to do. First of all, steel-cut oats are very rich in protein and fiber. Secondly, if you make them yourself, you control the amount of sweetner your children use in them. I mean, I don't want to offend that Quaker Oats guy, mostly because HE IS FREAKIN' SCARY, going around and offering chewy oatmeal granola bars to children and the only food character who could possibly be any more WRONG than the Quaker guy is the Burger King with that giant head, but the instant oatmeal? FULL of sugar. MOSTLY sugar. So much sugar, it's like having a bowl of sugar for breakfast with a few rolled oats sprinkled on top.

So last night, I got out my small slow-cooker and assembled what ingredients I happened to have on hand, and kind of cobbled this recipe together from several that the cookbook's authors had listed.

OVERNIGHT SLOW-COOKER OATMEAL

1 cup steel-cut oats (I used organic steel-cut oats from Bob's Red Mill )
4 cups lukewarm water
1/2 cup evaporated milk (Don't use fresh milk because it will turn caramel-colored in the slow-cooker, and this recipe is already slightly dark because of the oats themselves, and the spices.)
1/2 cup raisins
1 teaspoon apple pie spice OR 1 teaspoon cinnamon with a pinch of ground cloves, nutmeg and allspice

Spray a small round or oval slow cooker with cooking spray. Combine all ingredients in cooker and stir well. Set on LOW heat and cook overnight or for 8-9 hours. Easy-peasy!

When we woke up this morning, the house smelled absolutely divine. I ate my oatmeal with a dollop of milk and two packets of Sweet-n-Low (I understand that it makes little sense to buy organic oats and then muck them up with an artificial sweetner, but I have to watch my blood sugar and I forgot I had some stevia in the cupboard until it was too late.) My husband ate his with one packet of Sweet-n-Low and a tablespoon of brown sugar. Meelyn used some sugar and added some vanilla soy milk. Aisling, who is the family's champion oatmeal-eater, was nervous about an upcoming sleepover and couldn't finish her bowl, which I'm sure she regrets now that she's with her friends and having so much fun.

I look forward to making this oatmeal and trying dried cherries or cranberries instead of raisins. I look forward to smooshing half a banana into it. I like the idea of adding some chunks of fresh, ripe peaches or crisp apple to the pot in the last half hour of cooking. So many possibilities for a delicious, hot breakfast, full of proteiny goodness!

It was good the first time,, but how did the leftovers stand up? Find out by clicking here.

RECIPE: Overnight French Toast

I am always looking for new and delicious recipes to try for Christmas Eve morning and Easter morning: I keep trying to find something that will equal my mom's Christmas Breakfast Casserole ("Served every Christmas morning since 1982!"), something that will become a tradition.

For the past few years, I've been trying things like frittatas and cinnamon rolls, but nothing has clicked, either because of difficulty of preparation, taste, or the number of noses turned skywards at the table. I personally love the taste of a good cinnamon roll, but making them is just awful. Even with the bread machine to make the dough for me, I still hate all that endless fiddling around with butter and cinnamon and rolling them up and then re-rolling them because they look funny and then being tempted to hurl wads of buttery, cinnamon'ed dough at the walls because the dumb things stick to my hands.

Then there was the gorgeous frittata I lovingly prepared, complete with potatoes and sausage and red and green peppers (very Christmas-y) and pulled out of the oven to serve, only to find that it was completely raw in the middle. I have Issues With Eggs and the sight of a runny chicken embryo on my plate can make all the blood in my head evacuate to my feet in a split second.

So anyway, I found this recipe for Overnight French Toast online -- if it's a keeper, I'm going to give it a better name. It is made with easy-to-own ingredients that are common to every pantry and fridge; none of this "take the skin of one Moroccan blood orange and half a cup of truffle, minced fine, from near Aix-in-Provence" stuff for me. It sounds like it will be good, plus it underscores my personal belief about breakfast, which is that it is the Most Important Meal of the Day, Especially When it Includes Fried Bread.

I'll update this post later with a note on how it tastes.

UPDATE: We had this recipe for breakfast this morning with little smoked sausages on the side and I'm happy to announce that it is a keeper! The only modification I want to make is to the bread -- I used our regular oat-bran sandwich bread, but it is too flimsy to stand up to an entire night's worth of soaking in the fridge. This recipe requires something more substantial, slice a little thicker. I'm thinking that French bread would work, but that Italian sweet bread from the Marsh and Kroger bakeries around here would be really, really good. I have changed the recipe below to reflect this modification.

Overnight French Toast

6 eggs
1 cup milk
4 T. sugar (I used brown sugar instead of white)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp vanilla
12 slices of bread, sliced thick -- French, sourdough, Italian sweet bread, whatever you prefer (do not use sliced sandwich bread; it is too flimsy and will tear when you lift it out of the baking pan)

In a medium bowl, whisk together all ingredients except bread. Pour mixture over bread slices on a baking sheet; refrigerate overnight.

The next morning, melt a lump of butter on a griddle; slowly fry bread slices over a moderate heat until golden brown.

Serve on hot plates with syrup and a dusting of powdered sugar.

RECIPE: Christmas favorites from our house

Now, before I get started, let me just tell you that we are not highbrow foodies at our house; much to Susie's glee, we still sprinkle paprika on deviled eggs around here, a practice which she assures us went out with Donna Reed as she falls laughing about the kitchen. If we're feeling really fancy, we garnish them with half of a stuffed green olive.

The recipes I'm getting ready to type all come from that magical era of 1930s-1940s United States culinary magnificence that nearly drove 1950s foodie humorists Peg Bracken (The I Hate To Cook Book, A Window Over the Sink) and Betty MacDonald (The Egg and I, Onions in the Stew, the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle series) to the brink of despair. But we love them. They are fattening, laden with cholesterol and unrepentantly bad for you. But if you die while eating these things, you will die with a small onion-scented burp on your smiling lips, happy and replete. If you don't like fattening, artery-clogging treats at Christmas, then go gnaw on a celery stick, Mr. Scrooge. I just don't want to hear it.

Smorgasbord Cheese Ball

2 8-oz packages cream cheese

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 4-oz tub crumbled bleu cheese

3-4 dashes bottled hot pepper sauce

3-4 dashes Worcestershire sauce

1 cup chopped pecans (toasted, if you prefer)

Soften the cream cheese and combine the next four ingredients. Shape into a ball; chill for 3-4 hours. Roll in chopped pecan pieces. Serve with crackers, celery sticks or toast soldiers. Garnish with breath mints on the side.

Sister-in-Law Angie's Cousin-by-Marriage Debbie's Beef and Onion Cheese Ball

2 8-oz packages cream cheese

3 2-ounce packages chipped beef, diced into very small pieces

6 scallions, chopped in small pieces (I usually just call them 'green onions,' but 'scallions' is just so fun to type. It has that Julia Child je ne sais quois that I simply can't resist.)

1/2 tsp. garlic powder

2-3 dashes Worcestershire sauce

Soften cream cheese; combine remaining ingredients in bowl. Shape into a ball and chill for 3-4 hours. Serve with crackers, veggies, etc. Keep those breath mints handy from the first cheeseball recipe.

Scotch Shortbread

1 cup butter, softened, and if you use margarine, I will personally come to your house and harm you. Don't think you can get away with it, either, because I. Will. Know.

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon almond extract

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 300F. Cream butter and sugar together until fluffy; add almond extract and mix to combine. Add flour gradually, mixing to form a soft dough. Roll out on a pastry sheet to a nice thickness, thick enough to make a nice, chewy cookie and not so thin that you come out with a Scotch cracker. It's Christmas; be generous. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and sprinkle with colored sugar, or better still, touch each cookie with a little dab of homemade frosting; we like Vanilla Buttercream or Lemon Buttercream. This is what we like to leave out for Santa. Heh.


Nanny's Christmas Breakfast Casserole

2# spicy sausage, browned and drained

12 slices bread, broken

12 eggs

2 cups sharp cheddar cheese

2 T. dried mustard

2 small onions, finely chopped

Combine all ingredients in a large mixing bowl and transfer to greased 9x13 casserole dish. Refrigerate overnight. On Christmas morning, carefully gauging the time when everyone will be done unwrapping presents and is beginning to feel hungry and maybe a little cross from being up too late and rising too early, slide into a preheated 350F oven; bake for 45-60 minutes or until golden brown on top. Serve with coffee, icy cold orange juice and maybe some cinnamon rolls or sour cream coffee cake.

Nanny says that we have had this casserole every single Christmas Day since 1982. She gets really annoyed if anyone tries to make it on any other day of the year. Somehow, perhaps in the same way that I. Will. Know. If you're using margarine on that Scotch Shortbread instead of God's true butter, she can sense that I am making it for a Saturday night treat dinner from 35 miles away.

The phone will ring. I will answer with trepidation.

"Sunshine?" she'll say in a grim, portentous voice.

"Yes, Mommy?" I say meekly.

"You're making It, aren't you?"

"I do not know what you're talking about."

"Has the calendar completely escaped me? Is this Christmas Day? Are you at my house? Did you fill out a form in triplicate and submit it to the proper department before attempting to concoct this controlled substance?"

"No, I did not. But I halved the recipe and I'm baking it in an 8x8 casserole. It isn't the same."

"It is the same thing. And I raised you better than that. No more! Understand, rubber band? Eat it and sin no more."