It has been, frankly, a sucktastic week so far for a variety of reasons, none of them worth mentioning here. Let me just say that my immediate inclination is to go upstairs to bed right now and stay there until Saturday has safely arrived, venturing down only for forays to the kitchen.
Since I can't do that, my only other option is to laugh about something, and I have to say that I've run across a goodly harvest of one-liners lately that have made me smile. So, being the BENEVOLENT AND CARING PERSON I AM, NO MATTER WHAT YOU MAY HAVE HEARD, I thought I'd share them with you. Because? I am all about other people's happiness, all the time. Shut up.
Some are on t-shirts, some are on coffee mugs, a couple are bumper stickers I've seen on cars, and a couple came via e-mail (thanks, Carol!)
1. If swimming is good for your figure, please explain whales to me.
2. I used to care, but I take medicine for that now.
3. I smile because you're my sister. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it. (For Meelyn and Aisling)
4. Here. Let me drop everything and work on your problem.
5. I'll have a Cafe-Mocha-Vodka-Valium Latte to go, please.
6. Sarcasm: Just One More Service I Provide
7. I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can lose weight.
8. I am not tense. I am just terribly, terribly alert.
9. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
10. Boycott shampoo! Demand the real poo!
I feel better already.
So that's how the kids are doing it these days - "Mom, I need to tell you something, but I'm nervous." That's not the kind of conversation you really hope to have on a Wednesday morning before school. "O...
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