Sunday, November 22, 2009

She knows it's not something in the water

I have a friend who has six kids. What a slacker. Because I also have friends who have eight or even nine kids, so her six kids? Dude, you have got to put more effort into this.

Well anyway, my friend was at a large store with her six children, buying enormous quantities of food, plus other stuff that houses full of kids need: crayons, socks, toilet paper, Kleenex, diapers, socks, Excedrin, diapers and Maalox. She went to a check out line and was standing there patiently waiting her turn for all her stuff to be scanned, when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

She turned around and saw a middle-aged woman standing there. "Yes?"

"Excuse me, but are all those children yours?"

"Yes, they're all mine. And my husband's. He's their father. The ONLY father," my friend emphasized, having been asked before by someone obviously looking to get her eyes doinked "how many of them are half-siblings?"

The woman folded her arms and said severely, "Well. Do you two know what's causing that?"

Oh, it's an oft-asked question when you have more than three kids, or even if you have three kids in five years. Or even if you're a piker like me who had two children in two and a half years. But somehow, mothers of many assure me, it's a question that does not endear itself to them, especially when asked by total strangers in the Wal-Mart.

So my friend, who is of an impish disposition, leaned toward the woman and said confidingly, "Oh, yes. We know what causes this. And we promise to stop when we get an ugly one."


Katie said...


I swear, I'm going to start answering with "sex" or (if I'm feeling particularly scandalous)...well, you know the word I'm thinking of.

Shauna said...

Why are people in Walmart so rude?

When we told my mom that we were becoming Catholic she asked about NFP. When I told her we'd been using NFP for over a year she said, "be careful or you might wind up with four kids". I said, "oh, we're hoping for five or six". :)