When will a hole open and swallow me up?

Something happened to me today -- something bad -- that is so hideously, urgently humiliating that I can't relate it here. I just want to mark the occasion, a first in my life, when I was so humiliated, I got tears in my eyes. For all the people in my family who think it is high time that my enormously inflated self-esteem got pricked with a great big giant pitchfork, you now have your wish.

I'm sure that I'll be able to laugh about this sometime within the next few months, but right now, I'm thinking about becoming an anchorite. In the mountains. Of the former Czechloslovakia.