For all of you who scoffed when I told you how fast I can type using only two fingers, just take a look at this blazing action, so fast that the keyboard was SMOKING after Meelyn snapped the picture and begged me, "Mom? Mom! SLOW DOWN! There's going to be a FIRE if you don't stop with the awesomely fast typing!!!"
You may have laughed. You may have mocked. You may have taunted me with your Mavis Beacon or your Typing Instructor Deluxe. You may have regaled me with stories about Mrs. Vores in the tenth grade and how she'd never let you rest on your laurels with a mere sixty words per minute. No, it was all "Faster! Better accuracy! KEEP YOUR EYES OFF THOSE KEYS, PEOPLE!" and walking up and down the rows making sweat break out on the back of your neck.
All I have to offer you in return is a great, big snaaaaa-a-a-a-ap. Word up.