RECIPE: Game Day Ranch Snack Crackers

Well, okay, the games my husband is watching right now feature the Cincinnati Reds rather than the Cincinnati Bengals, but the sentiment is still the same. The only problem is that those Reds play a whole lotta games, where the Bengals tend to confine themselves to Sundays and Mondays and some other day. Thursday? Well, whatevs. Anyways, snacks are called for in the summer as well as in the winter.

These snack crackers are just unaccountably delicious. I mean, oyster crackers are the main ingredient, and what could possibly be more boring and tasteless than a dry, salt-free oyster cracker? This recipe jazzes those little buggers right up. You just wait.

This recipe makes, like, a ton, because I always send some to work with my husband, or over to the next door neighbor, or divide into little snack-sized plastic bags to take to the pool. They are a universal favorite of young and old, but please be warned: Your breath will be capable of slaying vampires all by its ownself, with no help from any crucifixes or hastily decanted holy water you might happen to have around.

RANCH SNACK CRACKERS

3 10-12 ounce bags oyster crackers
1 6.6 ounce bag Pepperidge Farm goldfish crackers

1 cup light olive oil or canola oil
4 packets ranch seasoning mix (in salad dressing aisle)
2 teaspoons dill weed
4 teaspoons garlic powder

Pour the crackers into a large bowl with a tight-fitting lid -- I use a Rubbermaid cake carrier. In a small mixing bowl, whisk the ranch seasoning, dill weed and garlic powder together with the oil until combined.

Stir every ten minutes for one hour. Serve with a toothbrush and toothpaste on the side, or at least some gum. This makes A LOT, so you can cut the recipe in half if need be.