New Year's Eve - And then we passed around the Tums and everyone went home

Oh, my gosh, you have never seen so much food. At first, I wasn't sure if it was the party treats spread out on the breakfast bar in Beth's kitchen or a shrine to the god of gluttony. Amy brought her bean dip and tortilla chips; I brought a bleu cheese and pecan cheeseball and crackers; Beth made Chex party mix and some peanut-butter puppy chow. Julie ordered about a thousand pizzas from the Q Avenue Pizza King, and there was never one single time in the entire evening when there wasn't someone over there grazing their way through the food in a determined manner, as if Dick Clark would stop the ball from dropping in Times Square and refuse to allow the New Year to be welcomed in unless every bag, box and dish was emptied.

When we were all kids back in the 70s, there was an Alka-Seltzer commercial featured a holiday partier looking green and vaguely terrified, saying, "I can't believe I ate the whole thing" while trying to contain a violent peristalic eruption.

Yeah. That.